When the military becomes part of your Family by Bambi Lynn

Seems so long ago that our family started the Journey of sacrificing our lives for the Military. But seems like only yesterday that I was standing outside my door in Buffalo, with uncontrollable tears running down my cheeks as We said goodbye to My daughter and her family, as they were driving to Louisiana, their first Duty station as property of the United States Army. Emotions still flood my heart as I remember that day.They not only had themselves to worry about, but they were taking my first grandson. I had no idea how I would ever see him again. Louisiana was so far away. I was a single mom wondering how God would provide. I knew my heart broke that day and I would come to know a broken heart over and over again. As the Military would be taking two more in a few years.

I don't remember a moment that my twins didn't talk about going into the army since the age of five years old. They played "army" hard their whole lives, with having over hundred GI Joe action figures. always being in battle.  and doctoring them up with duc tape to get back to fighting the cause they had made up for that day. They would have boot camp in the basement with the neighborhood boys all the time, training them to be good soldiers, sometimes to the extreme, if you asked me..We went through countless airsoft guns as friends would get together with the twins and they would have a war in the woods or our neighborhood, where police officers were called because they were jumping fences. Numerous visits to the army surplus stores to get uniforms and equipment for their walls and display shelves. We joined Civil Air Patrol when the twins turned thirteen, this was an organization that help train cadets who wanted to get a head start on Military life. They learned to fly a plane and do rescue missions. This group also help with giving a better rank when you first entered the military and finished book camp.

All during school my sons would talk about going into the Army at seventeen, I was totally against, wanting no part of having my sons leaving a year before I would have to let them go on their own, but they convinced me to go to the recruiting office and just talk to the soldiers who were recruiting young men and women for the military. I was fed a bunch of promises that weren't kept as I signed on the dotted line for my sons to leave a year earlier than what my heart was prepared for.

I was told that after bootcamp they could go to the same duty station and serve our country together for the first year. When I received the phone call from one of my sons that the army was splitting them my heart sank and broke in two. I already was having a tough time giving them to the military now, they did this.

Each obstacle I went through with my sons, Was harder than the one before. Not only do your soldiers have to endure the suck so does the family. I remember having to put my two sons on a plane during bootcamp with both of them being so sick from all the vaccines they gave to them all at once. As a mom I had no choice, they weren't mine anymore. They belonged to the Army

 One of my sons was stationed in the desert, in ft Irwin California. Where there was no place to go for over an hour, just so far away, I never thought I would ever see him again. My other son met a girl as he was being held over to head to his first duty station, and he never came back home because he married her

So many things happened so fast, and I couldn't keep up with all the changes and all the heartache my heart felt. Three children serving our country and a mama that just wanted to be near them and go back to the way it used to be. Nobody prepares you for all the little changes that end up being big changes. Nobody prepares you for all the times you will miss and special events you won't be part of. The military coins a phase, "embrace the suck" Didn't know it was for the families too.

My children have had to endure countless times away from their families. Some through training, deployment, schooling, and long hours for staff duty. The military tells you when to go and when to come back. you are on their schedules not them on yours. My family of soldiers and soldiers' wives have had to endure missing of birthdays, anniversaries, special events, and holidays to serve their country. So many sacrifices and so little appreciation from the military. They will tell you this is what you sign up for. Next time read the small print.

Every family has loss but, in the military, you are left to deal with it all alone. I had a son lose his first child while he was stationed in California, with no family to help grieve with them. Their marriage didn't have the strength to endure something so painful as a loss of a child, that they parted ways, my daughter had to deal with a husband that had wandering eyes and after countless times, their marriage ended. Breaks my heart that for the most part they dealt alone with their pain. Both are remarried. Takes the sting away a little bit. But what they went through breaks any mothers heart.

The military does give you some kind of stability and during the pandemic they were never without pay. but one of my sons had to fight to keep his job as he denied the vaccine. That battle was hard. They have good health insurance and get a lot of four-day weekends but, can't travel over 250 miles. They are property and sometimes treated like that. The military does have support groups. But you have to choose to utilize them, and some are better than others. They do form a family amongst the other military family and bond together fast because they know they will be up and leaving again for another duty station.

As we think about the Holidays that celebrate the Military and the sacrifice they make for this country, remember the whole family. Remember that they don't serve alone but with others that sacrifice too alongside them.  I am proud of my children that they chose this life. I am proud of the men and women they have become through the process. I am excited for what is instore for them. But as a mom I mourn a little as they move along the military life with the challenges and sometimes, I can't help them. God bless the Men and Women who serve, may they always be protected by the hand of God when Mama isn't around.

As we think about the men and women that gave the ultimate sacrifice for your freedom, let us also remember the families that have been left behind, that they also gave it all. 

                        I love my soldiers and their spouses Amber, Isaiah{son in love}  

                                            Joshua and Karelys{daughter in love] 

                                            Jeremia veteran and Kayla{daughter in love}