When it hits home

When you ask your daughter to write her story for your website and she hesitates, I just told her even if she had never been hit by someone, she still had a story. My ex-son in law was pretty cruel to my daughter with his mouth. He said some pretty vile things to her. As a family we accused it because we all chalked it up, that he was just him. He was a lot of fun but, we all had to tolerate his two-year-old attitude when he lost or didn't get his way. I had stepped in a few times with the way he talked to my daughter. I didn't care that I would get his attitude or wrath, I just knew my grandsons were watching the way he spoke. I remember one Christmas that my daughter had told him I had bought him a lot of gifts and when he came to the house for Christmas, he saw his gift and out loud said. you told me your mom was buying a lot of gifts for me/ This isn't a lot. I was so surprised and upset that he would do that in front of me and the rest of the family. My daughter talks about another time of shock the way he spoke to her. I was at the house with my grandson. When my son in law was talking to my daughter I was really scared, my grandson looked at me and asked me if daddy was going to hit his mommy? I remember getting into the car with my daughter shaking and crying because i didn't know what to do. We all knew of the abuse of the way he treated her but, I never knew what I read in her story. As a mom I was so upset that I didn't know the extent of the abuse. My heart broke as I was reading her story. My heart as a mom that didn't know it all but, accused what I did know, I had no idea my daughter was living out my life in hers, I say this to say abuse is a secret, it makes people feel ashamed that they don't tell. My daughter is a tough cookie, I didn't know she was taking a beating because like me, no one would understand because she was strong. This is my daughter's story; I am so proud of her for having the courage to share it. I love her to the moon, and back/ She is a confidant person and so full of love for people. She is so loyal! I am so proud of her in telling her story. It was hers to tell. I didn't touch her story of fix her grammar. I am forever grateful that I am blessed to call you my daughter and that she calls me mom.

 Well this was a long time coming and I don't really know how to put things in words but I will try my best.

Like any girls dream I wanted to be married and have kids and get the white picket fence ! That was my dream to be a mom and a wife. My first red flag I met this guy and we were dating and we argued over everything . One night we were arguing about the days of the week and he didn't like my answer and he kicked my ribs with his boots . I cried and cried and he just kept saying sorry we broke up after that . Then we got back together cause I thought we were in love.  When I met my husband who I thought would be my husband forever and we would have a big family ect. Everything was going amazing I loved my life and then things changed slowly . He would tell me to shut up , call me cruel names and I just was like ok if I just keep my mouth shut it will stop. Months would pass I got pregnant I was ecstatic my dreams were coming true everything was perfect till that slap across my face happened I was numb I didn't know what happened what I did how could I fix it. We didn't speak of this again.
The name calling was a thing , belitting everything I did was a problem.  I pulled away and just wanted my son and I to be happy. Life got better and I was like this is great finally I'm getting what I always wanted. Skip to years later he decided to join the military . I thought this is great everything will be ok !!!! We  then got pregnant with our miracle baby and life was perfect as I thought but the name calling continued,  I didn't do anything right then the hitting started . I didn't want anyone to know I made sure everyone thought and knew we were fine and a happy couple . But our close friends and family knew the truth like I was falling apart , my health , my mental state I just didn't think I was worthy of anything . As the years went by I tried to make everything perfect didn't want to fight , didn't want to do anything wrong cause I didn't want the boys to see . 15 years I just was holding on and he finally said I'm done I want a divorce . Still I wanted to hold on my family , our life like what could I do to fix it.
The breaking point was we were in the kitchen and he wanted to argue and he said shut up bitch or ill choke you out. And right there my youngest heard him I said you will never ever put your hands on me again or call me another name I'm done.
Violence is all over and some keep it to themselves and it can end bad or you can get out!!!!
I am finally free !!!!!!! I learned from my past relationships and I will never ever let anyone talk to me or put there hands on me !! I'm free
I was so broken ,lost,  didn't think I deserved anything and boy was I wrong !!!
I have an amazing husband now , two wonderful boys and I know I am loved and cherished!!!!!
I don't want this story to feel like I was perfect in anyway I knew how to push buttons and such but a man should never ever put there hands on a woman or vise versa !!!!
Be strong !!! Be the change !!!
I Am Free