The Ungame, Written By Bambi Lynn

 One of my sons rented an Airbnb during the Thanksgiving holiday. We were getting together to celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving. They were able to rent this really nice house because both twins and their families were sharing the cost of the house. The couple days before my son's family was to leave, they got into a car accident by hitting a deer and totaled their car. Such a bummer for all of us. Time with my twins is far and few between. So, we have to cherish every moment we have. But we made it work and still had a great time.

The house had a game cabinet. We searched for a game and found this game called the Ungame. This game is right up my alley. You are asked questions, and the person has to answer without anyone interrupting until it is their turn, and then they can ask anyone anything or to clarify what they already answered. The game reminded me of one of my favorite games which is Life Story, same concept but, not as many hard discussions. I was hurt by some of questions and the answers. This game can be deep or surfaced questions. I walked away learning a little more about how my grown children live their lives and the lives we had together.

 When I went to my other son's house, The one that couldn't come to Thanksgiving, we played this game. Totally different dynamics this time around. I learned more about each one of my children again and the life they share with their spouses. I used the time to share that I was taking this year off to pursue my dream; everyone couldn't wait to land on the space that made me elaborate. I slipped that answer in and nobody could respond. I was safe for a while in the game until.... lol

When I was in my dating years after the divorce of my second husband, I dated a guy That I set up a date by the water with a picnic basket with his favorite foods and a bottle of wine, and question cards in a Ziploc bag. For two hours we asked each other questions from this bag. Some were deep and others were funny and there were some that were just basic. This date was almost fifteen years ago, and he will still call me out of the blue, just to tell me that was one of the best dates he has ever gone on, even till this day.

Each Week I go out with a group of ladies for Tuesday Dinner. Just recently I bought the question game with me. We all went around asking questions to each other, the ones we grabbed out of the pile. We each found ourselves reminiscing of times past and learning a little more about each other. When I was leaving a couple of the ladies came up to me and said, they loved the ice breakers, and we need to do it again. This question grouped us together and gave us time to be reminded where we have been and precious things we have been through.

I love these types of games so much that I bought each one of my children with their spouses the car version. So, when they are driving, they can ask each other questions that they may have not thought about until they picked the question to ask. I have a set in my car and, when I had my oldest grandson for the evening because we were going to spend the day together at IFLY, we grabbed them and started asking each other questions. We laughed so hard and bonded more as people, not just family. For me it was a special time as I learned more about him and fell more in love with my first-born grandson, if that is possible. I was really surprised how much he really knew his Nona. impressive.

Why did this game win a spot in my blog? Why was this so important to share? I believe we are missing opportunities to really get to know the people around us. We have become people that stay to ourselves and don't want to be bothered by anyone. But I also believe that down deep we are longing for community. We are longing for someone to see us and not only see us but to take the time to invest in us and to feel like we are valued and seen. We have become a nation of loners and those of us that want community are craving the attention of being seen and noticed. We function better with each other than we do alone. Games like this and questions that spark interest and spark connection help us to move past our fears of rejection. These kinds of questions have no wrong or right answers. They just lead us to belonging. I am a communicator, one that wants to know deeply how you survive, what makes you thrive. What gives you goosebumps, what makes you tick. Go out and buy some questions, the next time you are out to dinner with some friends, pull them out. If I ever do speed dating, these are the questions I am bringing with me.