Just recently I went on my very first cruise, what a bucket list come true, Cross that off. I was so excited and prepared for over three months. Making sure I had enough clothes and things that I needed to pack. Bought some ducks to hide around the cruise ship. Even put my business card on each one, always thinking about promoting and marketing myself. My friends and daughter and I joined a couple cruise ship pages, so we would be prepared for anything. I was all set and couldn't wait for our day to finally come to board the ship to an Island in the ocean with blue water and clear so you could see your feet. I would be swimming in the beautiful waters and finally was going to be able to say, I have been cruising to the Caribbean
The efficiency of the boarding was incredible. I couldn't believe how fast they got us on that ship. When I got to my room, I was so thankful that I chose to have my own room. The rooms were a little small, so it was a good choice for me. All of us started right away exploring the ship. People watching right away. The ship was so big but, then being told it wasn't the biggest, I couldn't even imagine that. Fourteen floors, a pool,miniature golfing,waterslides,bars everywhere,food court and dining halls, and a big theater where a ton of shows took place. I was overwhelmed but yet excited that I was fulfilling one of my bucket list dreams.
The sky didn't look too promising as we embarked to start the cruise. People were still excited. People were dancing and screaming with excitement. My grandson and I went to the top level because we were told that the ship barely makes it under the bridge to get out of port. I was so excited to be celebrating New Year's on a cruise ship. We were part of the excitement as the cruise ship made it under the Jacksonville bridge. I am not sure how I would have felt being one of those cars that were crossing over the bridge while the cruise ship went under. I was still feeling okay, a little stomach ache but nothing that was going to stop me from having the best time of my life.
As the evening went on the rain wasn't stopping and the waves were now bothering me and the ship started rocking. I started getting nausea and my head started hurting. I was having trouble walking and just needed to lay down. I couldn't hang with the big dogs and was very disappointed. I ended up in bed, I started taking all the medicine I could to try to stop this before it got worse. I knew I wasn't feeling well when I got to my room, and I had lost all my color. I looked out my window and saw the ocean wanting us to take notice. The waves were big and fierce . I shouldn't have looked out the window, as it made me feel worse. I fell asleep, hoping that would help. Nothing helped for thirty-six hours. I had to be careful what I ate because I didn't want to lose whatever I had eaten. I can't believe how much this took me back to having morning sickness with my twins. Where I had to crawl to the bathroom. I tried to get up and hang out with my friends and family, but I felt delirious and like my mind couldn't put thoughts together. This lasted the full thirty-six hours and then in a moment I noticed I felt better.
I tell you this story because it reminded me of a group of disciples that got caught in a huge storm with Jesus, they were scared, and he was sleeping. For the first time I read that story with empathy. I can imagine them sitting sick on that boat, wondering if we tell Jesus, do we wake him up, do we just suck it up, Will he understand what we are going through because it seems like the storm wasn't bothering him because he was sound asleep. The Bible doesn't tell us who was the one who finally woke up Jesus. Did they draw straws, or was it the worse one who was sick, or the one that felt better than the others?
We do that in our own lives so many times. We think we can handle the storms of our own lives. We try to take care of it ourselves before we call on Jesus. Sometimes we think the storms will pass without the help of Jesus, so we just try and wait it out. There are times in my own life that I felt ashamed of what I was going through because it was my fault I was in this situation anyhow. I don't want to bother Jesus when I do it to myself but as the last resort, I call upon Jesus and he answers.
I wonder how the disciples felt when they felt like they couldn't take the storm anymore, and they went to wake up the only person who could make this storm stop. One of the disciples had to shake him because he was fast asleep. When he was awakened the disciples cried out to him and he got up from his restful sleep and said,"peace be still" and the storm ended. I can't imagine the shock look on the faces of the disciples. I wonder if any of them thought, "Why didn't we do this sooner"? If they could have just gone to him immediately, they could have saved themselves some heartache and sea sickness. Jesus would have stilled the storm, and the waves would not have crashed over the boat.
How many of us are guilty or feel guilty by calling on Jesus because we think, "he doesn't want to hear from us"? How many of us have felt weak by calling on him thinking, I should have been able to do this myself and figure it out? How many of us have felt ashamed by our circumstances to just keep it a secret, thinking Jesus wouldn't care? How many of us just think we can do it alone and so we never call on his name? How many of us have ever felt, we call on him too much and he is just tired of hearing us call him?
This cruise that I was on gave me empathy for the disciples as I realized how guilty I was when the storms came. I looked around to find a way that I could take care of it. I realized how I am no different than the disciples looking around wondering if they should just go get Jesus. Why is Jesus our last resort? Is it looking at him as a father that never cared what we had to say, or you knew not to disturb. Is it because we have been told by our fathers, to leave them alone or go take care of whatever by yourself?
I know there are so many reasons why we don't go first to him when the storms of life are too much for us to overcome. The disciples learned a valuable lesson that day. They learned it the hard way by sitting around dealing with the storm on their own. All they needed to do was go to him, to wake him up, to call out to him, to give him a chance to respond, to trust in him. At the end of the day, there were no hard feelings, there weren't even any choice words, or the disciples being reprimanded. All that happened was Jesus got up out of his sleep to say, "peace be still" and the storm was finished.
