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Healing Trauma by Becky Zilliox

One of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to me is losing my sister to ovarian cancer. My sister was always the one who ate healthy and exercised. I was sure that she would live a long life, but she didn’t. We were supposed to grow old together. We had a plan. It was all worked out for our future, but then she died. She never lived to old age, even though I needed her to. 

Ro’ had wisdom, and she knew me like no-one else ever did or could. We had been together since I was eighteen months old. Because we lived in a rural area with no close neighbors that had children, we were each other’s playmates and best friends. I relied on her. We talked for hours almost every night. When she got sick, I tried to deny it, but one day I found a bookmark with the symptoms of ovarian cancer, and she had all of them.  Ro’ went through hell and back, losing her hair, her looks, and even her mind at one point, due to chemotherapy and pain medication. Still, she was stronger than anyone I have ever known. She looked death in the face and fought it with incredible bravery. She left a legacy of faith and determination that I will never forget. 

Recently, I was having dinner with my sister’s husband, and a woman approached us. She apologized for bothering us and then said she had just lost her sister to ovarian cancer, and she was trying to help her grieving brother-in-law. I knew right away that God was using the trauma of my sister’s death to help me to relate to and comfort this woman—a woman who was a complete stranger to me. I prayed for her and tried my best to encourage her. I am continuing to pray for her that God will bring others into her life that will water the seed that was planted in her life. It was not a coincidence that I was at that place just when a woman who was going through what I have been through needed someone to talk to. It was a God moment! God was using me to help comfort someone, and that, in turn, helps me to heal.

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I love that God uses “hard things” to give us our purpose. I love that even as a child he gave you and your sister a strong love for one another, to be friends, special playmates, it was all that was available to you, and more than enough, because God knows what we need, long before we understand it. I love all those thousands of moments you spent together and mostly I love eternity, thousands and thousands of lifetimes you will spend “catching up” with each other. Thank you for sharing your story, at the right moment, with a kindred soul. Thank you for sharing with me and others too! Such warm light, we provide when our lives reflect Jesus!


Becky what a touching story. I am so sorry for your loss. May God Bless you and continue to comfort you. Thank you for celebrating the life of your sister

Marian Barnes

Becky thank you for sharing your Godwink. I know that has not been easy for you with the loss of your sister, but even God wanted to show you that he understands, and that he is always with you. I love you my friend.

Bambi Makowski

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