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Father's Love Written by Tammi brown

I wanted to share with you what Father God gave me the morning of 10/19/2021. It’s about Father’s love that he has for you and me. So, I will be sharing with you a story of my earthly daddy so you may get an understanding. 

 

My mother and daddy were married on January 25, 1969. My mother was 17 and my daddy was 21. I came forth into this world in August. 

 

As I was growing up, I thought everything was okay at home. We did things a normal family would do. We went on vacations, gathered with family, went fishing, and got huge Christmas trees that would not fit into the house. Lol

 

Yet, in reality it wasn’t. My daddy drank and was passed out by 8:30 every night in his chair. The house was now full of strife. In the spring of 1984, my mother told my sister and I they were getting a divorce. I can remember thinking it was my fault. This is what I heard that day, “If only I had acted better, than this would have not happened.”

 

In July, my sister and I watched our daddy load up his station wagon for the last time out their bedroom window. Tears were rolling down our faces screaming daddy don’t leave us. 

That night would be the last night we were a family forever as he drove off.  Our hearts would be shattered into 1000 pieces. Life would never be the same for either one of us. 

 

 I was angry, hurt, betrayed, and did not know how to deal with the effects of my daddy leaving. I lashed out at my mother. My mother at one point threw all of my stuff out in the garage and told my daddy to come get me. It’s funny I didn’t remember that at all. He just told me that in 2021. I was like, “what?”

 

Life was not any better at my daddy’s. He was too busy drinking and had gotten married right after his divorce from my mother. I spent a lot of time with my stepmother’s kids, and I was living it up. I was having the time of my life by doing drugs. I did not want to deal with all the emotions and feelings that were raging within me. So, I just started self-medicating them. I did that for the next 3 years. I had gotten so bad I didn’t even know my name. I didn’t care. I just wanted the pain to be gone. Yet, it was always there. 

 

I finally did step out of the whirlwind of self-medicating. Yet, I still had all the anger, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness towards both of my parents. It would be many years later that father would say it’s time to start healing from all the pain that was within me. 

 

Now saying all that. Here is what Father showed me that early morning in October.  Our earthly daddies are supposed to be a representative of him. That is why he created man in his image to be his representative here on earth in every way. 

 

Father God, showed me his attributes as a Father: 

He loves unconditionally 

He accepts us

He protects us

He provides for us

He never leaves or forsakes us

He is our safety 

He is never absent 

Our trust should be built in Him

 

As I looked at Father God’s attributes, I did see some of my daddy’s while he was living at home. Here were three:

 

My daddy loved me unconditionally. 

He accepted me for who I am. 

He provided for me. 

 

Yet, there were a few things that were missing in how my daddy was supposed to be a reflection of   Father God after he left us:

 

He did not protect me as a Father should his child. 

He abandoned me.

He was not there in times that I needed him most, which made me not feel safe. 

He broke my trust in men. 

 

I must say that these issues with my daddy having left me in fear with my own husband. I have always been afraid of not being protected, abandoned, living in a safe home, and trusting my husband in so many aspects of life. I never understood why I felt this way with my husband until Father God showed me the truth about his love and my own daddy’s. 

 

Here is my point to this all. Your earthly father may not have been the reflection of your Heavenly Father. Yet, I am to tell you that your Heavenly Father loves you so much and only wants what is best for you. He is always there even when we don’t see him or feel his presence. His love for you and me is so much greater than you will ever know. All you and I have to do is surrender to him daily and follow his precepts. My life is so much better now than before. That is because of the unconditional love that Father has for me.

 

 As far as my relationships with my mother and daddy, God has healed them. I know now that even though they divorced years ago it was definitely for the best. Sometimes what seems to be a devastating situation can be turned around. 

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