Recently, I went to a weekend ladies retreat, Women were invited all across the country by an influencer with over 45,000 followers on her Instagram. We ended up with five ladies from different parts of the country and different stages of their stories.
The Right people for you Hear you differently, show up differently, support you differently, and nourish you differently. That's how you know.
Each one of us had some tough stories, we needed to be heard and we became the sounding board for the pain to be spoken in each one of our stories. We stood with each other as an anchor to hold them in the deep waters of pain. Trauma does something to the soul, that only God can take us deeper in that pain to let it go. Sounds easy but, never is! We all need a tribe that hears us, sees us, and shows up for us. and gives us direction to tell our story and teach us where we go from there.
I heard something recently that so resonated to me deeply, we are made up of three parts, Mind, Soul, and Body. When we accept Christ into our hearts, our soul is saved and redeemed and set free, forever to spend eternity with Christ. Our Body gets beaten up by life, trauma, circumstances, and sometimes it takes the wind out of our sail, but it doesn't affect our salvation or our soul. What it does is teaches us that our mind needs renewing to believe how Christ sees us and how he wants us to see ourselves. It's not about our soul but, about our minds. We go through tough things in life, and we put on shame,fault,and we deserved this, or why me. But God is teaching us through the rollercoaster of life, that he wants us to see his love and how he sees us. We don't have to carry that anymore. It's not ours to carry but, Gods to show us his greatest love for us in the death of his only son. Trauma isn't Gods fault but, he does use it to show us how he sees us.
This recent retreat gave me a new understanding of trauma and how it effects our brains and the way we do or say things. When I think about the renewing of my mind, I think that my mind just needs a whole new overhaul of all the stories and lies I have believed because of the story of my life. I don't need to hold those stories anymore. but can create new stories and new memories to replace the old ones. One lady at the retreat actually went to some therapy that washes or cleans your brain waves, where it somehow leaves room for new memories to grow in your brain. Gives your brain a whole new overhaul and space for the old to leave and the new to take residents.
Gathering ourselves together with people with the same story as your, just different characters and places, helps heal the soul, as you aren't walking around life thinking you are the only one. The time in sharing stories is hard but, it is also refreshing. When telling your story, it gets you out of the dark and allows you to start the Journey of healing. You can't start until you are heard. I believe being heard is the first step. You have been silenced in your trauma and threatened that if you tell something else will happen. So, the freedom to tell your story is you taking back your life and feeling liberated for the first time. But we must never stop there. The Journey is just beginning. Now you need to find your tribe who will allow you to talk again. but now will also hold your hand through the steps of picking up the broken pieces. This is one of the hardest things to do as we have been a victim for so long, we find comfort in that. Now we need to find comfort in living with freedom in front of us and behind us. The grave of darkness can't hold us down, only if we want it to. We must grieve the hopes and dreams we had for our lives.
With these precious group of women, we gave each other encouragement that we are not where we were, and we still have not come full circle. but we are walking out the process. I am peeling back the onion and allowing each layer to teach me something. My layers aren't the big peels anymore but, the little, tiny peels that only I can see, I had to be willing to be honest on where I am at in my journey with myself and with others. I am working on those stories I tell myself daily and those little lies I tell myself that keep me paralyzed. The core of the onion doesn't make you cry as much but, does make you search deeper into yourself to find that inner peace that you have been robbed of because of trauma. Each of these women walked away with a different goal and an awareness of the process. Deep wholeness is the goal of all of us, we just needed sounding boards to help us find the way.
Have Patience with your next Version, it takes time to meet her!
Healing takes time, it's not an overnight kind of thing. You didn't get broken overnight. Give yourself some grace. Allow yourself the time you need to be set free. Take the baby steps and don't take away from small beginnings. celebrate the moments you didn't retrieve back to old way celebrate the chances you have given yourself. You are becoming!! that takes courage and bravery, you are learning to show up for yourself! That is huge, not a small task. Life is full of chapters, each chapter doesn't look the same but, just as exciting. The chapter of healing is the most challenging chapter of our stories, because we must show up for ourselves. But we can with the tools that we are given and the tools that have fallen on our laps.
If anything, this recent retreat showed me that your tribe can be anywhere!! Your tribe is who shows up for you and you show up for them. Your tribe can be perfect strangers sitting in a Livingroom with a perfect stranger and walking away as friends. Your tribe are just people who will listen to you, and you feel like you have been heard. Your tribe hears your story and doesn't run away from it but, embraces you and shows you that you are safe now. You tribe is everywhere, they may not be with you daily, but they sense when they are needed. Tribes are just people who become family, they share a common story with you, they make you feel like you are home. Every person needs that whether you have trauma or not. Tribes help you to reflect and to rediscover the beauty that is within. They give you tools to use to find that amazing person inside of you that has been waiting for the right moment to spring forth and to blossom in spite of the hurt and the pain you have experienced. Your tribe helps to water you and gives you good soil to use to create a garden that has been weeded and ready to bloom. Your stories of trauma have kept you hidden. But now your tribe says arise and you pop out with a fragrance that only can occur after the storm.
FIND YOUR TRIBE